Sunday, September 27, 2009

Isaiah 55:8-9 The Miracle of Life


My little man, Joe, 7/15/09- 9/11/09

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts"

I loved seminary. It was early though and I was a spastic teenager so I don't remember much of what I learned. It was only after I had my first daughter Christina that I decided to start learning my scriptures better. The above scripture was on our wall for the past month and we practiced it almost every night. That's not a coincidence.

I have always known my Heavenly Father. My testimony has not changed and is not stronger or weaker. My faith is the same. I have always known that Jesus Christ lives and that my family will be eternal. But now I do know 2 very important things.
1. God comforts his children
and 2. The importance of the gathering of Israel.

You have no idea what you have done. Thank-you is feeble. Thank-you is meager. The gratitude and love I feel in my heart can not possibly be expressed. I wish I could fly out and visit every single person who prayed, wrote, fasted for and thought about us - and bring some Costco chocolate cake and chill on your patio watching the sunset together. Then I would hug you and kiss you and get up in your personal space, holding your face and tell you I love you. I love you so very much. Every single word written by you has given me peace. I pray nightly that you will be blessed for the love you have shown us in our hour of need. It is truly overwhelming.

I have tasted of loss now. It is truly hard. It is unbearable. That's where Christ has come in. He has saved my soul. I have just the tiniest glimpse of the sorrow Heavenly Father feels when His children are lost. We need to help gather them. We need to ease our Father's sadness by living our lives in accordance to His will and doing our best to lift others, bringing them back to His fold.
Death is not the end. You know this. I know this.
We are broken, but we will be healed.
So let's just rock on 'til the resurrection.
Again. Thank-you. Thank-you so much for everything.

42 comments :

Misty said...

He is so absolutely adorable! I am so sorry for your loss! You have an amazing spirit! What a great Mom you are to have had such an amazing spirit in your life!

Jean said...

He is beautiful. Your insight to our Heavenly Father's sorrow has touched me. Thank you for sharing it.

The Fredericks said...

what a little sweetheart- please know that you are in my prayers.

{THE BOHANS} said...

Sofia, I am so glad to hear from you. I love you and feel so much for you. I wish you were here to get "all up" in my face! You are such a gift to all you meet. How are the girls doing? They musty have such strong testimonies as their mother and must know the gospel so well because you are a righteous mother and have taught them well. I have thought about you every day and have prayed for you. My aunt lost her little girl when she was 8 years old. What held out family together is knowing the plan of Salvation. We will see her again! And you will be with Little Joe again. The gospel is wonderful! I love you!
♥ Malinda

arianne said...

your little guy is so handsome. You are an amazing strong woman. thank you for this post. Our prayers are with you and your family.

Veronica said...

He is one of the most beautiful little boys I've ever seen! So his name is Joe, or is it Joseph? I wrote and told you about my brother who passed away three months ago. His name is Joseph too. Maybe both of our Joes are hanging out together. (SNIFF) I'm continuing to think about you every day and I pray that the peace you feel now continues. You are very loved as well!!

Andrew and Marie Benson said...

Chocolate Costco cake!!! You know how to show a person love. We're stopping by your place when we're home next for a sunset, a piece of cake, and some getting all up in our faces. You make my life a better life for having you as a friend. Thank you.

Melissa said...

You are a rock! One that we all can look to for strength and comfort as well. Thank you for all you do for us. Our hearts and prayers continue to be with you. Thanks for sharing a sweet picture of your little man. He is safe in the arms of our Savior.

Tobler's M♡M said...

Amen!...<3

Becca said...

Your strength amazes me. Your testimony inspires me. I hope that the healing process continues and that you are able to let the peace it brings fill up that hole in your heart. He is a beautiful boy who I'm sure will be missed. Here's to happy days---and figurative Costco chocolate cake!

Lisa said...

Hello Sofia-

I hope you are continuing to heal. I too have been greatly touched by your strength and words of inspiration. I know that despite your situation, you have turned around and inspired others through your testimony. Thank you so much. I hope that the gift of the atonement will continue to embrace your family. You are loved! May your sweet Joe watch over you and your family until you meet again.

Team Jensen said...

What a handsome boy! I'd definitely bring you a Costco Chocolate cake to share since in this circumstance, it would make sharing it that much easier! Your testimony is incredibly touching. Thank you.

Leslie said...

He is a beautiful angel. The primary theme "My Eternal Family" must mean so much more to you now than ever. Thank you for your wonderful lessons you have prepared and let us share with our primary children. We have all been blessed. Joe was just so valiant that the Lord needed him now. My prayers are still with your family. ((HUGS))

Liz said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family at this difficult time.

The Class Family said...

You are inspiring!

Dione said...

Joe is beautiful and so is your testimony. Thank you!

Our Three Sons said...

Your little boy is adorable. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in our prayers.

**nicke... said...

you are in my constant thoughts and prayers. i wish you were near me so that i could get up in your personal space and give you the biggest hug, then i would kiss your face. ;)

Tiffany said...

He is so beautiful. I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing right now. We just reached our 1 year mark for the death of our baby boy Jackson. I am reminded of the quote by Joseph Smith, "
"The Lord takes away many, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man and the sorrows and evils of the world. They are too pure, too lovely, to live on earth. Therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning, we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil and we shall soon have them again." Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith. May Heavenly Father bless you with the peace strength necessary to continue living. I'm sure Jo is watching over you. I'm sure he's close and is proud of the way you are handling your situation. Who knows maybe our boys are mission companions up there! If you ever need to talk, my email address is: tiffanyrich@gmail.com.

Leslie said...

your faith is so inspiring sofia. i can't imagine the pain you have been going through. your family is in my prayers, what an amazing momma you are.

and joe! oh my goodness, what a face. he's perfect.

onlynatural said...

I was overjoyed to see your photograph of your most magnificent little boy. Your words come across the miles with such pure sincerity, I am honored to know you. These are just words but they come from my heart. "May Peace be with you."
With Love.

Anonymous said...

Joe is an angel. We lost a first-born son, Zane, to SIDS at 4 months old just over 4 years ago (he was an angel too)and feeling your honesty about the pain and the path to healing and then reading what others have written has helped me heal in ways that I hadn't healed yet. You helped me realize that the Savior could heal me if I was ready and willing to be healed. I don't know why it happened (other than as part of our family's mortal journey) but I do know that there is a wise and loving Heavenly Father. I love you and I am grateful to have found you. --Lesley in Texas

Melissa said...

Oh So Precious. I bet you pore over every little detail of his image. What a beautiful child. thank you for your testimony.

You continue to be in my prayers. My heart aches for you.

Michelle said...

He is so cute!! Oh, how your arms must ache for him!
Please, can the Millennium start tomorrow??

Heather said...

You are truley amazing!! I find strength in your testimony, and love for our Savior and Father in Heaven. Your faith is so pure. I marvel at your wisdom and how you are able to just keep going. You are an insiration to me. Thank you so much for your love, and sharing your tender moments with all of us. My prayers are with you always.

Karen said...

Thank you for sharing your testimony and your strength!
-Thinking of you!

Emily said...

What a beautiful baby!! I'm so sorry for your loss, you are so brave and I admire and look up to you so much. You are awesome and beautiful!!!!!

Cali said...

May you continue to be blessed with peace and comfort until the day when you are reunited with that beautiful baby boy of yours.

Taggart Family said...

Your testimony has brought me to tears. I have thought of you often. I pray for you and your family. Your precious son is such a beautiful angel. God does not leave us comfortless. You are so inspiring.

Jill said...

I am so sorry you had to experience a loss like this. I have prayed for your family and hope your hearts heal quickly and that you take comfort in knowing you'll live with him again someday.

Anonymous said...

what a sweetie! You are an incredible daughter of our Father in Heaven. Your faith and testimony are amazing to me. Thanks for sharing all you do. You deserve to have an "angel baby" waiting for you and cheering you on. I pray the Lord continues to strengthen you and carry you as he did for me in a similar situation.

Sarah
Idaho

Desiree said...

You are such an inspiration to me, to us all, thank you. I have been thinking about you and hope you continue to heal and have the love of everyone to help you on that path. Your strength is awesome, and your son is so adorable.

Shannon said...

Thank you for sharing the photo of your little sweetheart. And for being on example of leaning on your testimony when things seem the hardest. Your strength is amazing. Thank you for sharing this piece of you with.

Angela said...

Sofia- Thank you for posting this litte update and sharing a picture of your handsome little guy. Yes, too perfect for this life. I am SO grateful for our Heavenly FAther's plan and for the opportunity that you will have to raise your precious little boy someday. You are such a strong person. Thank you for your sweet testimony and example that you have set for all of us. I have never experienced the loss of a child, nor hope to ever! But I've been thinking of and praying for you, as so many have. I'm glad you did this post, as I have been wondering how you've been. God bless you, sweet sister, and the rest of your family!! Love you. -Angela

Melonie said...

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you today. I don't even know you but I just love your blog. You have helped me when I needed guidance with my new calling in Primary. I hope you get stronger through this trial and keep touching other people's lifes.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your blog today, and my heart nearly tore into a million tiny shards of glass.

When I was 8 weeks pregnant and the baby was struggling, I was told in a blessing that I would not be allowed to hold my little one while on this earth, but would hold her in the life to come. I thought my heart could never heal. Week after week, after week after week, as the pregnancy progressed I would race to the temple while my 5 year old went to kindergarten and my 3 year old went to preschool. Three times a week I would go. In the 2 hour time, I could drive to the temple, complete 3 ordinances in initiatory, and race back to pick my 3 year old up.

I went alone. I didn't tell anyone, which probably wasn't healthy, but I didn't even tell my husband because he seemed to think I was holding up just fine, because he was holding up just fine, when deep inside there was very little of my soul still living.

As I look back on that time, the temple rescued me. I didn't find answers, my pain did not disappear, but for 40 minutes I could breathe. I simple visited my Heavenly Father and for that small amount of time, he held me in his arms and I could breathe without assistance. Each time I went, it felt as if I was receiving all of those blessings, simply for me, all over again.

Please go to the temple, and I hope you too will feel His loving arms as He carries you through this difficult time.

Anne Marie said...

I am just reading about the loss of your little one. I am so sorry. What a beautiful child. I am thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sofia,

My heart aches for you. I have felt the pain of losing an infant son as well. I know Heavenly Father loves each of us. I learned more and grew more during the year after my son's death than I probably have at any other time in my life. The Lord's way can be so hard sometimes. But I know healing will come to you with time. I will pray for you and your family that peace may attend you in your hours of sadness. May you know how much I admire you. I don't know you personally, but I often rely on the many great ideas you share so unselfishly. I am a junior primary chorister in utah. You are an amazing woman. I know the Lord loves you and that you have blessed many lives because of your talents and your willingness to share them. -Alisa

Di said...

Thank you for your faith, your little man is precious! My heart aches for you. You might like to check out this blog- another strong example of faith through sorrow: http://jacksonparkcity.blogspot.com/

Tobler Bunch said...

Glad to hear from you! I enjoyed your post and thank you for sharing a picture of your little angel! Thank you for your testimony of the atonement. That is what got me through 3 miscarriages this last year. Without the Savior I would not have found peace and joy as quickly as I did. I felt much comfort and love from Him and my Heavenly father. I am thnkful to know that He has done the same for you! Hugs your way and as I eat a piece of that Costco cake, I will thnk of you. I actually do have some right now! YUMMY! Thanks for your blog-

Linda said...

I am amazed you carry on for your family. You truly have a golden testimony of our savior. Because of you I will hold my baby extra hard and cherish him and I won't take our time together for granted.. I admire you and pray for your peace. Someday this life will seem only a moment in time...

Chels said...

Your first message wasn't selfish at all. It's hard to share a deep sorrow and loss with many people and by the number of comments you've had it looks like you were supported and uplifted in your families time of need. I like your blog and use it whenever I have sharing time. You have a strong testimony. Thanks for sharing all of this and take care. I hope you have peace in your life. Your son looks like an angel.